SIMPLE, IT IS

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

EDITED!

You know.. so many ah siaos live around my place.

1) STEVEN KOH

5 years ago when I was still in Sec 3, my bunch of friends and I used to hang out at NP Mac. This mad man in his 40s always asked around for ciggies and I dunno y we were so kind hearted to give him for free.... and for 2 years!!

The way he smokes is fucking funny. He has strong leg muscles lor. He told Fidi and Hanis his name Steven Koh and his religion is JESUS.

He sings the Shanghai Tan song to himself everytime.
He's part of my secondary-school-days-jokes with my girls.
He calls Hanis "woman".
He loves Poker.
He was beaten by Wei Cai for molesting his ex-gf.

Until now I still see him loitering at Mac, sometimes with a bible.

Harmful rate: 1/5

2) TUMOUR MAN

This guy..... 40+. Skinny skinny one, bites his t-shirt and carries a pouch appeared the start of this year I think.

Why Tumour Man? He has a growth at his neck! I know I'm very bad but its a fact.

Also loiters around Mac. Never ask for ciggies.

Harmful rate: 0/5

3) MALAY MAN

Another Mac-loiterer in his early 30s. Only appears after midnight. Looks smart but he is such a public nuisance!

Making a din when people don't give him ciggies or money. WTF!~ Really siao.

Harmful rate: 4/5

4) MOSQUE MAN

Last 2 weeks I was with Begok aka Becky Doodles at Mac.

Then this malay man in age late 20s - early 30s dragged a chair from another table and asked us if anyone was sitting there and we said no. People with common sense would think that he would sit at the other empty table but

HE SAT WITH US INSTEAD. Wtf~

His face damn distracting. Like down-syndrome lidat. Begok cannot tahan and so we left.

Becks then told me that this man used to live in a mosque. Everytime he would talk to himself like, "...kids these days dress so little.. wad will the world become...."

-___-" Ya know.... He lived in a mosque..

He looks really scary!!!

Harmful rate: 3/5

5) CROSS-DRESSING AH PEK

An 60+ year old ah pek who lives around my area...

Wears a velvet dress, white stockings, pearl necklace, MJ's shades, heels, a little handbag with moustach (is this the correct spelling?) and short hair.

Walao I'd rather he be a bapok.. Prettier and not so omg. He very muscular leh!

Harmful rate: 0/5

He never disturbs people. One thing that he is better than me - Confidence in his looks. Cool.

6) HOODIE GIRL (NEW!!)

Middle-aged skinny lady wearing a hoodie everyday. Loiters around my neighbourhood. SHE WEARS A SKIRT WITH A PATCH OF MENSES STAIN!

Screams to herself. Shouts at passerbys.
I don't blame her la, since she's siao.

She carries a Nokie 3310. Everytime talk to herself on the phone. She speaks very softly... Like some demure sluts like that.

People who meet her for the first time will not think that she's siao one, really.

Harmful rate: 1/5

7) CHINA MAN

Tiko-pek in late 20s who is mad enough to bang on tables and shout to himself. Cross the road and cross back again (repeat a few times). Gives cheeky smiles to girls who are alone.

Harmful rate: 3/5

I'm not trying to be a bitch here but imagine living in a neighbourhood with mad people...... They should go back to IMH la. FYI, I'm not living in the Hougang area but I think a place with 6 (or more) ah siaos is more than enough.

Yours Truly @ 8:22 PM
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